expertcosmotips:

replace his dick with a nacho cheese nozzle so he cums nacho cheese and actually just dump your boyfriend and get nachos

You know, I think it’s about time someone invented a testicle replacement product. I’m thinking it should be called something catchy like Popplers FlavourBulbs (TM)

FlavourBulbs (TM) would come in a range of flavours including (but not limited to):

• Sweetened Condensed Milk
• Late Harvest Moscato
• Sparkling Shiraz
• Vanilla Bean Whipped Cream 
• Fairy Floss
• Single malt Scotch Whisky 
• Jello Margaritas
• Bacon
• Double Bacon
• Smoked Bacon
• Bacon Sundae
• I can’t believe it’s not bacon (for the vegans)