1. Wanted …

    Sometimes life gets … overwhelming. 

    Lately, this has been true for me. Between work, finances, two sets of coursework, additional areas of study, the farm, family … well, time is in seriously short supply and things start slipping. 

    At first, it’s the social aspects - you go out less often, then you start dropping off social media, you stop replying to eMails - then its other aspects - like housework - that suffers. At some point, of course, something in all of this will end up being an emotional land mine. 

    Last week, it was the state of the house. Ingrid broke first. The emotional explosion collected every other emotional cluster and set them off like a new years eve rave party.

    After words were said, screams were had, frustrations released and (eventually) both parties relaxed and apologies were provided, we had the logical breakdown and realised that if we want the house to not resemble the unkempt appearance of an International backpackers fraternity hostel, then we both need to set aside some significant time each week to re-arrange, organise and maintain it. Something neither of us have had time to do lately.

    So, there you have it, another thing where priorities need to be re-arranged and timelines shifted … unless, of course, there was another way?

    Now, I am a consultant, and it is my job to think of “other ways” is it not? So, another way I suggested … 

    We just need a live-in who is willing to stay home and clean.

    Some people have suggested that a child will meet this criteria (if we were to replace “willing” with “tasked with”) but the issue is that we would need to produce, raise and train said live-in for ten years (at a minimum) to gain any of the said benefits.

    So, an alternative was required … and after some consideration, it was decided that to meet the needs of both parties, ensure no additional friction within the relationship and to ensure no imbalances there was indeed a way forward. This, therefore, is the advertisement I am planning to place onto craigslist … 

    WANTED: Hermaphroditic asexual polygamist
    with a penchant for good housekeeping.

    Does this sound like you? If you are willing to
    move in with a lesbian stuck in a man’s body
    and a twink stuck in a woman’s body who
    currently reside in the suburbs (but will be
    moving onto a lovely beef and sheep 
    producing acreage in the near future) then 
    why not contact us to discuss a joint future?

    Please, no time wasters, genuine interested
    parties only.

    p.s. no freaks. 

    I mean, it’s a workeable idea … right?