May 2012
1 tag
You know ...
Sometimes people just _want_ to be upset and offended over something.
They will absolutely ignore all evidence of intention, nuance, pop cultural references and heck, any other form of evidence to the contrary, simply to push forward an idea and claim injury, insult and offence.
1 tag
fishergal:
Is it “normal” that tagging something on Tumblr ISN’T working??? just wondering…
Fixed that for you …
Not the worst offer I've ever been made ...
Scene: Stepping out of the car at the location of the office and noticing one of the girls from upstairs huddling up and having a smoke
Me: Hey Sinead!
Sinead: Hey.
Me: (looking at her Gucci purse) My gawd, that's huge, it's a briefcase!
Her: Fuck off!
Me: You should escape the cold by getting into that and have your smoke!
Her: (noticing I am only wearing a T-Shirt) Aren't you cold?
Me: No, baby, I'm hot ... hot to the core!
Her: No, really?
Me: Yeah, here, feel (offering forearm)
Her: Oh my, you are so warm!
Me: I'm like a portable heater!
Her: I should put you under my desk!
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: (waiting for the penny to drop) ...
Her: ... oohhhhh!
Me: I'm just going to go and get my coffee now :)
1 tag
“Winking 101 in Russia 2 is more esoteric than most straight porn, but if you...”
– Straight Porn Reviewed By Gay Men: Straight Porn Reviewed By A Gay Man Who Can’t Be Bothered To Watch The Movie, No. 3: Winking 101 in Russia 2
Aussie Politics
missingalot:
I have lived in Australia for extended periods on three occasions. There are many reasons to love Aussie, it’s people and culture. It is a wonderful, dare I say it-a lucky country. But my best memories are around the robustness of its politics. No prisoners, no quarter. Theatre at it’s finest.
Carry on Australia. Thank god you don’t carry guns.
When you say...
jorshuwah:
Julian Assange has lost his appeal against the decision to extradite him to Sweden. This is a link to the judgment for anyone who has a lot of time. You’re welcome!
… And books are now open on how long after landing on Swedish soil the FBI will issue an Interpol warrent for his extradition on grounds of treason, national security threats and the catch all terrorism badge?...
Well, to be frank ...
Scene: at the osteopathic clinic trying to untangle the knots in my back
Osteopath: ok, now that we've massaged your back, time to flex that spine a bit. Ready?
Me: I guess so
Osteopath: Ok, onto your side
Scene: She moves my limbs around until my legs are askew and my waist and torso are counter twisted with my arms and legs somehow interlinked with hers so I resemble a body hugging pretzel she is about to pick up and body slam
Osteopath: OK, so we're going to start flexing now ... are you ready? How's that?
Me: it's a lot like my first date, actually.
3 tags
11 more lessons and thoughts
Following on from my last post entitled “8 Life lessons from a not quite 40 year old” here are some more rules and philosophies I live my life by:
[[MORE]]
Make an effort to know more about the world today than you knew yesterday I honestly believe that the more we learn, the more we do, the greater the world around us becomes. This is why I have always taken on an additional...
9 tags
1 tag
do-over replied to your post: So, it has come to this?
I’ve seen that clip. I found the repeated shooting over and over again highly disturbing. Then again, I don’t think elephants (or any wild animal for that matter) belong in circuses and the people that keep them there get karma served on a platter.
I do not disagree - and am not debating the karmic value of the incident, especially after one...
1 tag
So, it has come to this?
So, there was some show on the TV the other night about tragedies that were caught on film and then they do the whole dramatisation, dramatic music, obnoxious voice-over and shitty CGI slo-mo repitition of the footage from multiple angles all in the guise of “science” but it’s really just a morbid fascination with accidents and death.
Anyhow.
The point I’m trying to make...
3 tags
2 tags
the iPad - another month later ...
So, I thought I’d start noting the differences I find between the Android and iOS devices into a table. Now, my positives and negatives may not be yours, so do not look at this as a means of saying one is better than the other so much as listing the differentiators. I will continue to build this out as I go, and you are welcome to add to the list and categories by accessing the google...
Scene: met friends of my sister at her wedding on Saturday and driving them to the church
Me: So, guessing from your accents, you're from the Northern Provinces
Marsha: Yes we are!
Shylo: Good guess, Choice Bro!
Me; OK, that threw me, are you both from the same region?
Marsha: Yes
Me: I was originally going to say BC ... but now I'm thinking maybe Portland?
Shylo: no, much further north ...
Marsha: Want to play geography?
Me: Love to, but my wife is here and Shylo's there, don't you think it will be awkward?
Monday, Monday ...
It starts again.
The weekend has passed away, slipping through the fingers, like the vapours from the fog machine, as we exit the nightclub, do they still do that at nightclubs, it’s been so long since I went to one, perhaps I should have researched it, prior to utilising it as a metaphor, this poem has taken a strange turn, must be the morphine, what were we talking about, oh the need for...
I was just put onto a great set of Tourism videos...
“Portlandia”
There’s quite a few of them, but it really highlights many wonderful aspects of the region and culture.
A+++ Would recommend to Travellers
1 tag
adsinfinitum replied to your post: My dear American Followers …
I’m from South Africa. Can I come?
Absolutely! Many Seth Efrikens make their way over to Australia. Most have emigrated to Perth, which I am led to believe is apparently a lot like Cape Town. Whilst the Government hasn’t officially recognised it, Afrikaans is becoming the secondary language of the city.
Those that do...
1 tag
marleymarley replied to your post: My dear American Followers …
I could live in Melbourne. Of that I haven’t a doubt.
I really believe you’d love it. I mean, we may not have the best weather … but we have representatives from every culture and way of life here that (along with the need to escape the aforementioned weather) means that we have wonderful food options and dining is the...
1 tag
fishergal replied to your post: My dear American Followers …
You forgot the MAIN reason we’d move to Australia…. because YOU’RE there.
Awwwwwwwwwwww …. ok, how much do you need?
1 tag
terrybain replied to your post: My dear American Followers …
Dude. Murdoch is FROM AUSTRALIA! Damn.
Yes … and we kicked him out … so … you know, Murdoch Free :)
1 tag
girl-detective replied to your post: My dear American Followers …
Should: You can have Erin do your nails! Kanga Bangas! Shouldn’t: SPIDERS DEAR GOD THE SPIDERS. Also: How on you on Jews? I can’t live anywhere without other Jews.
Erin — enough said. She is reason enough to want to make the move :)
Kanga Bangas are good, but Kanga steaks are better. Wait till you have an Emu burger...
1 tag
mikesnosense replied to your post: My dear American Followers …
I’m in the uk, and it’s near impossible for me to move to either. Anyone for France?
Umn, Mike, really, you just have not thought this through - your options are:
marry an Aussie girl … we send a few thousand over to you guys every year …
steal a loaf of bread and then claim your Irish (they’re still...
My dear American Followers ...
edited to incorporate the flurry of comments:
why you should move to Australia
It’s not the USA
No Republicans
No FOX News
No Tea Party
It’s Beautiful Here
Health Care, we haz it
Liveable cities, we haz them, but the cost of housing is ridiculous
Food, glorious food
Wages are (generally) better so you don’t need to tip everyone
4 weeks annual leave is law
why you shouldn’t move...
My dear American Followers ...
why you should move to Australia
It’s not the USA
No Republicans
No FOX News
No Tea Party
It’s Beautiful Here
Health Care, we haz it
Liveable cities, we haz them
Food, glorious food
Wages are (generally) better
4 weeks annual leave is law
why you shouldn’t move to Australia
No Obama
Politics are boring
International Travels costs too much
We are subject to stupid...
procrastination phriday
phuck oph wiph your spelling and grammer it’s a phing now
well, at least since nine phiphteen this morning.
I can haz all of the headachez
removing pills?
Purlease!?
4 tags
Hey everybody! Post your taints!
frageelay:
There. I started a meme. You’re welcome.
You know how there is always that one guy ...
Talking obnoxiously loudly on his mobile?
He is here in the medical suite waiting room.
I now know his weekend plans, that when he prefaces a sentence with “I’m not going to brag but …” he means for than 18 minutes and apparently anything further than a five minute drive is “just far too far to go on a weekday”
Also, he is apparently here for his daughter...
Is it hot?
Male Colleague: is it me or is it hot in here?
Me: nope, just you!
Colleague: really?
Me: well, you did just turn 44
Colleague: what does that have to do with anything?
Me: nothing, just saying it is nothing to be ashamed of because it is natural and understandable.
Colleague: ....
Me: ....
Colleague: what is?
Me: menopause
Colleague: I. Hate. You. So. Much.
Ron's post reminded me of a typical Monday...
Them: Hey, know what I did this weekend?
Me: Not since the restraining order ...
Tension Headaches
Colleague (via IM): I need drugs to kick in before I can ride in, got a massive head ache ...
Me: me too ... oh, no, wait, I need drugs to kick in since I got in here and the PM started riding me
Me: So, you know ... same same but different ...
Colleague: Yeah.. Mine is caused from Tension and yours is caused from... No wait!
Oh, you want my help revising the By-Laws and the...
tj:
Page 1:
We (hereafter “THE COMPANY”) expect you to act like grown-ups.
Page 2:
You (hereafter “THE EMPLOYEES”) can expect us to act like grown-ups.
Page 3:
If either of us find the other not acting like a grown-up, we promise to let the other person know and talk about it until a mutually-agreeable solution can be found.
Signed:
The Employees and The Company
[Date]
THE END
There....
"What is this Oar-see fascination with pissing?"
A recent US native sent here for a work based assignment for three months after learning some common Australian terms.
Also - he apparently thought Australians were generally into Ornithology due to “all the birds you always seem to talk to on the weekend”
File under: language differences and things that make me giggle.
erinmargrethe replied to your post: So, to avoid brain tapeworms …
And I was just about to invite everyone over for pork sushi!
Are you coming the raw prawn?
1 tag
So, to avoid brain tapeworms ...
I need to ensure the porking is well done?
“Let’s see, what rhymes with ‘small town’…
Wait, I got it! ‘Small town’!”
– John Cougar Mellencamp
March 22, 1985 11:04 AM
(also 11:08 AM, 11:15 AM, 12:02 PM, 12:17 PM, 1:45 PM and 1:47 PM)
It’s hard to find words that rhyme is a small town, as the traffic comes to a slowdown, people watch the hoedown, taking place in midtown, it’s happening at sundown,...
2 tags
