November 2009
“Canadian mountains.”
– “rats’ feet over broken glass”
Explain to me the role of those Red Coated Mounties again?
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Also, why do I miss out on all the good posts?
I apparently missed out on stuff from:
puffle that made her embarrassed (??)
amy that made a few people question their heterosexuality (??)
something something sex on the wall?
something something boobs?
something something no pants day?
something something no panties night?
Sick Taiss went and slept
With tumblrs pace he had not kept
When last he was up
There was a great disrup’
With people arguing over foreskins
But now they’re jerking out formsprings
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I have some kind of male PMS
I’m nauseous.
I’m sore.
I’m crampy.
I am spending as much time in the amenities as not.
My temperature is fluctuating.
My head is throbbing in two separate areas.
And I think I’m channelling Scrappy Doo.
In which I risk being controversial. Again. →
piscesinpurple:
Last year I found out the hard way that one can’t take a position like “routine circumcision of infant males is genital mutilation” without attracting unwanted attention. I was so freaked out by the ensuing vicious personal attacks, in fact, that I promised myself that for the sake of my sanity and my son’s safety I’d never mention the issue publicly again.
But then something...
Dear Stalkers
northside-pie:
xntrek:
[snip]
Is this just a way to stalk your stalkers?
Also, the internet is for stalking friends porn.
shuddup! you’re giving the game away!
Because, Baaaah, that's why.
Name: Taiss Tumblr Name: xntrek Nicknames: Bob, “Hey You”, Taz, Tazman, Dr Taiss, AmaTaiss Birthday: Yes, I have one, this is not in vitro! Age: [Current Date] - [Aug 1973] Location: Outer South-East Melbourne, Victoria, Australia Current school/job: Enterprise Solutions Architect Sexual orientation: any which way, but do prefer against gravity Status: On. Random fact(s) about...
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Dear Stalkers
It has come to my attention that seeking me out across the interwebs may be a cause of mouse induced RSI and that under new Occupational Health and Safety regulations, I must do what I can to alleviate any behaviour that fosters such injuries.
Thus I have updated my card.ly profile to allow you to quickly and efficiently find me on the web 1.0 and 2.0 social networks. I hope this assists you...
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Rules of Relationships
Whether we are talking about friends or lovers, the rules are the same. It’s a three legged stool. Just four parts we need to remember and foster:
Communication I would think this is pretty self explanatory, but without it you don’t have much of anything. For a relationship to worlk, you need to be able to communicate. You need to always be able to talk about anything. If you only have one topic...
Why I'm not a good girlfriend (also known as...
awkwardlyawesome:
-I’m stubborn. This will likely make you mad.
People are never stubborn about stuff that really matters.
Anyone who loves you will never be mad for long.
Because you now know these things you will remember and want to try harder.
-I suck at articulating how I feel. This will likely make you mad too.
Welcome to the world of human emotions, where we each wish we could...
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Maybe those machine sex toy movies aren't such a... →
(via sendchocolate)
OMFG!
Screaming With My Mouth Closed
marleymarley:
Fuck this. Srsly.
Someone tell a joke or the rest of this bottle of (what is this?) gets it.
There is someone in the background of your video that sounds like they were arguing with a duck and then she was explaining how she stuffed it in her pocket because she was trying to calm it down?
“Fucking someone once isn’t an achievement.
If they ask you to fuck them...”
– My delicate petal darling Ingrid in response to my asking “how would you put it?” after claiming that “The measure of someone is not based on the number of partners they have had, but rather, the number that have asked them to return.” was too flowery (in this post)
sendchocolate:
“I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock. That shut her up.” — my friend...
Where'd you go?
(via feelingfeisty)
I went for a little nap. I didn’t think you’d notice. You barely say boo to me anymore.
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Byakhee, Byakhee fly me through space, take me...
A sample of the opening track of A Shoggoth on the...
I have a theory.
(via delgrosso)
Please, share with us your hypothesis.
Discuss with us your methods.
Summarise your findings
Please don’t forget to return to the abstract.
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Cheese!
@Lyall:
How exciting - brand new online cheese encyclopaedia called (you guessed it) CheesiPedia cheesipedia.com_http://c…
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“I love how white people are so excited about Black Friday. It’s incredible...”
– xntrek
I feel so dirty ...
Today, I caved in.
I, against every moral fibre in my being, walked into a Borders Store and stared at the vast array of books that lined the shelves and filled the vast floor space. With determined effort, I inched my way through the forest of literature until I hit the swampland that was given the moniker of “supernatural romance” under the mount of “teen fiction”.
...
My dearest Poeks
Thank you for enriching my life. Your words are like silk, the music you share is a delicate petal falling across my ears and your appreciation of art are jewels across mine eyes.
I thank you, even if once in a while you do cause me to involuntarily scream out “Oh my gawd, what the fuck!” across an open cubicle farm on a Friday afternoon and thus having to...
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feelingfeisty:
Please take my phone away before I start sexting.
Kthanks.
Hi, umn … I’m to far, I can give you alternatives though?
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samantha-x:
it has come to the point in winter where i can no longer sleep naked.
i am very upset by this.
Umn … heating? Blankets? Doonas? hot water bottles?
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Lads, Chaps, SNAGs and CHOPs
lyall:
brighita:
claudeware:
NO LADS ALLOWED. I would like to see this implemented everywhere.
I support this movement!
Don’t be a lad - be a chap.
bad connection but chap reminded me of chop and chop rminded me of snag and that all reminded me of a bad bad joke —
You’re aware of Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAGs)? How about Chauvinistic Horribly Opinionated Pricks (CHOPs)?
...
One expensive (but cool) keyboard the "Optimus... →
“I wanted to be thankful for thanksgiving, but *somebody* wasn’t willing to...”
– xntrek
uʍop ǝpısdn s,ʇı uǝɥʍ ǝɔɐld ɹǝʇʇǝq ɐ s,plɹoʍ ǝɥʇ
(via littleteaspoon)
funny, most girls I know prefer their world the right way up.
˙uʍop əpısdn ʇuɐʍ ʎəɥʇ əɯ ʇsnɾ s,ʇı
aroooba! →
marleymarley:
Hiding out with the dog until this infernal meal is finally ready.
Also, rawr!
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Dear Thanks Giving Americanos
I am thankful for … no scrap that … I’m not thankful!
You post all these pictues of golden roasted birds and cupcakes and pumpkin pies and alcomoholic concoctions … just taunting us with your yams and clams and don’t give a damns!
Not one of you brilliant coders has established an FTP (Food Transport Portal) server to share with us!
Not one of you creative...
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Damn it, why isn't there an outsourced fitness and...
Take my body for the hour - exercise it, torture it, purge it … hell take the whole day if you need to … I’ll just be here catching up on some Vonnegut … no, no, feel free to charge whatever you think is fair …
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Awesome ... no ... really ... not
Colleague 1: Who's up for lunch?
Me: Sounds good what are you thinking?
C1: I've brought mine along, how about we meet in the break out room in 10? Is "Colleague 2" working from home?
Me: No, C2 is here now
C2: What does that mean "she's here now"!?
Me: err, nothing you weren't in before, you are now ... so we were just discussing lunch
C2: What so I'm supposed to just answer? I wasn't listening to your conversation!
Me: ...
C1: ...
C2: So!!??
Me: Umn, hjow are you?
C2: Fine! Why shouldn't I be fine?
Me: Umn ... no reason, I was just ...
C2: Fuck you're annoying me right now!
Me: ...
C1: Umn ... yeah ...
Me: OK, so I guess I'll just shut up and go get lunch then
C2: Fine!
[ten minutes pass sitting down with C1]
*Phone rings*
Me: Hello?
C2: So, you going to join us for lunch?
Me: err, what?
C2: Lunch? You interested?
Me: Umn ... no .. I'm good.
C2: Fine then!
*click*
